Full Flower Moon The Little Things Self Care

May is in full flower.

The lilacs are in honey. The honeysuckle's in oil, the dandelion infusion is done. The violets have dried on my work island into tiny little curly blue jewels.

The nettles are getting taller, and the cleavers is celebrating. Celandine spots the roads with yellow, and apple blossoms are everywhere. The Lady's Slipper orchids have begun. The black cherry tree flowers are minutes away from opening. Everything is humming with life.

It's been a busy time for me, but not too busy. I am finding a good rhythm lately and am so grateful for the warmer weather, singing frogs, and time in nature. Things will shift again soon as my kids are almost finished with programming and will launch into summertime spontaneity and short burst camps and such. I can't wait to get myself into the river water.

I'm finding rooting in my not-as-new location (now here 2 1/2 years.) I see people I know at the market, I don't get lost (as often), and I'm finding a sense of belonging and community that I hope will grow and deepen.

The cycles of my plant allies are reliable sources of  daily replenishment, of course. This week I'm putting together my Lady's Slipper Ring membership herbals and they are full of flowers and nectar and the healing that bubbles in our spirit when we experience beauty.

My first Aromatic Muse perfume (FloraLuna) departed to their first new Queens already. I'm incredibly inspired by this journey and have begun concocting something unique for June, while soaking up the glamorous FloraLuna in the meantime. It is so.... womanly. mm

Taking care of ourselves is so important, and having beautiful, earthly, sensory conduits for self-care catalyzes cell-response, sensory pleasure responses, immune system functions, positive memories associated with self-love, and creates a biological connection to feeling good without attachment to collateral. Self care first - then achievement becomes enabled. Although I teach this, I am still a student in daily practice. I must be deliberate and devoted to moments of time carved out for my health and well being.

Here are some snapshots of my pleasure medicine as of late .... 

what beauty and pleasure restores you?

The Things You Miss With Chronic Pain

Today's post from kevinmd.com is a powerful personal story from someone who has realised that her chronic pain has led to her missing out on so many things she used to take for granted. Both chronic neuropathy patients and the people closest to them will identify with many of the things mentioned here. Maybe acknowledging what's gone from your life may be the first step to recovering it in ways relevant to your current situation.

What chronic pain and illness make me miss the most
TONI BERNHARD, JD | PATIENT | MAY 30, 2013

When I began to gather my thoughts for this piece, I asked my husband what he thought. It was eye-opening. Even after twelve years of illness, I forget that his life has been impacted as much as mine by my health limitations. This is partly because he’s changed his major task in life to that of caregiver and partly because we can no longer do most of the things we liked to do together. So this list applies to caregivers and loved ones too.

Two preliminary notes. First, I’m trying to keep a non-complaining tone as I write. Complaining does me no good. These are factual observations and I hope they come across that way. Second, it’s good to remember that there’s a tendency to rewrite our past and put it on a pedestal: “Those were the good old days.” But, in reality, my life before I got sick was a mixture of pleasant and unpleasant experiences, good times and tough times. For example, you’ll see “Time in Nature” on my list of what I miss most. But being outdoors when the mosquitoes were biting or when it was over 100 degrees (F) in the shade…that I don’t miss!

1. The ability to be spontaneous. My guess is that this is #1 on most people’s lists. Having to painstakingly plan everything out is not particularly fun. Having to then impose it on others is never fun. A few months ago my brother and sister-in-law drove from about an hour away to have dinner with us. But we couldn’t just say, “Come in the afternoon and we’ll visit and then eat a leisurely dinner,” because that won’t work for me. If I visit in the afternoon, I won’t be able to join them for dinner. And if they only come for dinner, it had better be an early one because I turn into a pumpkin at about 7:00. So they came at 4:30 and we ate dinner at 5:30. It was great to see them, but there was nothing spontaneous about the occasion—at least not to me.

If people unexpectedly call and say they’re in town and would like to come over for a bit, whether I can visit depends on the timing. I can’t get through the day without a nap… and then there’s that turning into a pumpkin in the evening that I referred to. Sometimes when they arrive, I find myself rushing off to the bedroom, as if I’m hiding out from them. Hiding out from people I want to see can be emotionally wrenching. Our house is small enough that, once I’m in the bedroom, at least I can lie on the bed and listen to everyone talking so long as I leave the door open. But that can be frustrating and painful when the conversation turns to something I’d like to participate in.

Then there’s the lack of spontaneity to be able to do something on the spur-of-the-moment, and this definitely impacts my husband. “Wow. Lincoln is playing in town. I’d love to see it!” But then comes the dose-of-reality voice in my mind: “Nice idea but it’s 2 1/2 hours long, so with the previews and ads, that’s closing in on three hours—much longer than you can sit up for. When you face that kind of wait at a doctor’s office, you have to ask for a room to lie down in. Must let Lincoln go I’m afraid.”

2. Variety. They say variety is the spice of life. My spice rack is pretty empty. I’m not complaining. It’s just the way things are. I know how fortunate I am to live in a comfortable house with a loving partner, but the fact is, every day is much the same for me and, some days, that “sameness” can get me down. My husband and I don’t even have the questionable luxury of dealing with variety in my health issues! Conversations between us about my health are always the same since it’s remained almost unchanged for a dozen years.

I miss the variety that comes from seeing different people. As a teacher, I used to stare out over a sea of as many as 100 different faces at one time. And when I wasn’t in the classroom, I was a people watcher. Sometimes at restaurants I’d imagine a “back story” to the lives of those I’d be watching. Now I pretty much see the same people every day…and I know their back stories!

3. Being actively involved in the life of my family. My children are grown but I have two granddaughters. I miss going to events at their schools and to recitals and the like. But mostly, I wish I could take them on little outings. A month ago, my husband took the hour drive to our granddaughter’s house for the sole purpose of taking her across the Bay Bridge to ride a cable car in San Francisco.

That’s what I miss.

4. Socializing. The peak hours for socializing coincide with when I’m “down”—noontime (I’m napping) and evenings (I’m that pumpkin). And we’ve found that a partner doesn’t get invited over to dinner when the other partner is sick. Were my husband single, we feel certain he’d get those invitations. We don’t judge others negatively over this because we recognize that they may think he wouldn’t want to come alone, or they may feel uncomfortable about leaving me out. But the fact remains: he has almost as limited a social life as I do.

What I miss most about socializing is something I wouldn’t have predicted. I wrote about this in my book How to Be Sick: I miss those moments afterward when my husband and I would “debrief” each other about what transpired at a gathering—gossipy though it might be. Who drank too much. Who was such a kick to talk to. Who we might want to invite over. Who we’d be happy never to see again! Now we do that kind of sharing over characters that show up on our TV. Really!

5. Time in nature. Some of you may miss the wilderness. My time in nature was more “tamed.” I spent a lot of time at University of California—Davis’ Arboretum. It sits next to the law school building where I worked, and I walked the paths that line its creek almost every day. I knew almost every plant and tree and how they look during each of the four seasons. I knew where the little green heron would be watching for fish and where the turtles would be sunning themselves on the banks of the creek. I didn’t miss my walk even if it was pouring rain. I had a big umbrella and special shoes for the occasion.

6. The ability to pursue my former interests. Perhaps you were an active outdoors person or an avid moviegoer or politically active. One of my favorite pastimes was bird-watching. I had a little journal in which I recorded each sighting: the place, the day and time, the type of bird. From a friend who was an expert birder, I learned that the best way to identify a bird was to look for and then memorize some unusual feature. I’d do that and then when I’d get home, look in one of my many bird books and, with that feature in mind, identify the bird. If I couldn’t find it, it went down in my journal as an LBJ, a designation taught to me by another birder friend: Little Brown Job. I still bird watch but my sightings are pretty much limited to what I see from the house: house finches and white-crowned sparrows in winter; doves and robins in spring; a quick fly through of cedar waxwings if I can catch them; scrub jays and the occasional mockingbird year-around.

Scrub jays are so common in California’s Central Valley (we call them scrubbers) that I forget just how stunning they are. Sometimes, I pretend that I’ve never seen one before, making it a rare sighting. When I do, I’m amazed at the incredible beauty of this bird with its iridescent bright blue and silver coloring. Never mind that its squawking can drive a person to drink (if I drank…)

7. The ability to putter around the house, engaging in pleasurable tasks. I loved to garden. Now, I occasionally transplant something. But most of my gardening is confined to pulling weeds because they’re what inevitably stare at me when I go outside.

I also loved to paint rooms. (Perhaps this was a holdover from my days as an undergrad in college when I painted houses in the summer.) This was one of my joys as a homeowner: paint a room one color and then…paint it another! Now I’m in a bedroom that badly needs painting (as well as a new rug), but I haven’t the ability to do what needs to be done for the preparation and then the disruption. The rug can be replaced…but can I handle being displaced? We’re considering it.

8. Health not being the topic of conversation. I miss not having my health be the elephant in the room whenever I’m around other people. Invariably (and often due to my own tendency to “drift” in that direction), the conversation turns to my health. I miss not thinking about it and I miss not talking about it.

Toni Bernhard was a law professor at the University of California—Davis. She is the author of How to Be Sick: A Buddhist-Inspired Guide for the Chronically Ill and their Caregivers. Her forthcoming book is titled How to Wake Up: A Buddhist-Inspired Guide to Navigating Joy and Sorrow. She can be found online at her self-titled site, Toni Bernhard.

http://www.kevinmd.com/blog/2013/05/chronic-pain-illness.html

Strange Things That Happen To Ageing Feet

Today's post from prevention.com (see link below) is not directly related to neuropathy but is very useful to people having to live with nerve damage in their feet, in that it brings in to perspective what might happen to your feet anyway as you get older. After reading this, you may have a better understanding of why your feet give you so much pain and other sensations but also of how neuropathy can make normal ageing symptoms so much worse. The article talks about the effects of age on the pads of your feet, tendons and ligaments as well as blood circulation. When the nerves join in the general degeneration, you've got enough reasons for why neuropathy can be so debilitating. Worth a read for all neuropathy patients.

7 Weird Things That Happen To Your Feet As You Get Older
By Cindy Kuzma February 8, 2016

They've carried you everywhere from your first day of school through this morning's walk or run. Pretty much everything else about your body has changed in that time, so it's little wonder that your feet also undergo some alterations, both subtle and not-so-much, as you age. (Use this simple test to find out your arch type.)

Fortunately, taking a few moments to tend to your sole health can minimize age-related issues. "Foot pain and discomfort aren't a natural part of growing older or something to just put up with," says Emanuel Haber, DPM, of the Foot & Ankle Centre of New Jersey. "Much can be done to relieve pain, improve comfort, and prevent small foot problems from becoming major down the road." Here are seven common foot complaints that often arise with age—and how to give them the boot.

1. Fat vanishes.
Mother nature provides humans with built-in insoles—collagen and elastin cushions, stuffed with adipose tissue, on the bottoms of your feet. But in a cruel twist on the middle-age spread, collagen production decreases through the years, thinning these fat pads.

Without this cushioning, "your feet feel fine in the morning, but toward the end of the day you have a lot of pain because you're essentially walking on bones," says Pedro Cosculluela, MD, a foot and ankle specialist at Houston Methodist.

Though some clinics tout injections or fat transplants, there's no proof they work, he notes. The only surefire solution is to wear cushioned, comfortable shoes, reinforced with insoles or gel pads if needed.

2. Arthritis appears.

Photograph by stockdevil/Getty Images

Your feet boast more than 30 joints, all of which can degenerate with age, Cosculluela says. Arthritis most commonly strikes the big toe or the midfoot joints on the top of your foot. Besides pain, you might feel stiffness in the morning that improves once you get moving, then worsens again at night. Shoe inserts, exercises to increase range of motion, and losing weight if you're heavy may help, says Andrew Shapiro, DPM, president of the New York State Podiatric Medical Association.

Hip and knee arthritis also have trickle-down effects, altering your alignment in ways that can cause pain on the insides or outsides of your feet, Cosculluela says. If any of your joints ache, see your doctor—treating hip and knee arthritis with exercise or medications often lightens the load on your feet as well, he notes.

MORE: 11 Highly Effective Solutions For Sciatic Nerve Pain

3. Toes curl up.
And we don't mean in that sexy, between-the-sheets kind of way. Years of stuffing your piggies into high heels elevates your risk of hammertoes, permanent bends in your smaller digits. What can start as mild discomfort turns more painful over time, and unsightly corns and calluses can also crop up as your crooked toes rub against your shoes.

To prevent—and ease—hammertoes, cover corns and calluses with padding and trade in your pointy-toed pumps for shoes with wider toe boxes. "I often have women stand on top of a blank piece of paper barefoot, and trace the outline of their foot," Cosculluela says. "Then I put their shoe on top. If I can see toes sticking out, I know that's not a good shoe for them."

Good news, though: You don't have to ditch your stilettos completely. If you want to wear them for a night out, wear well-fitting flats made of flexible fabric like suede—even walking or running shoes, if you can—during the day. "The more support you can give your feet, the less inflammation you'll incur throughout the day—and the better you'll be able to tolerate a dressier shoe at night," says Gennady Kolodenker, DPM, a podiatrist with Hoag Orthopedic Institute in Orange County, CA.

4. Circulation slows.

Photograph by Matt Meadows/Getty Images

Diabetes, vein disease, and other conditions more common with age can slow the blood flow to your feet, Shapiro says. That makes each cut from stepping on a sharp object or new-shoe blister slower to heal. Combine that with nerve damage—which often goes hand in hand with the same health conditions—and you might not even notice a worsening infection, resulting in an ulcer that just won't heal.

If you have one of these health conditions, enlist a podiatrist on your heath care team. Inspect your feet regularly for cuts and scrapes, and seek treatment for them promptly. Consider installing a floor mirror in your bathroom so you see them more easily, Cosculluela advises.

5. Tendons tighten.
Not as limber in yoga class these days? One reason: The water content in your tendons declines with age, stiffening the cords in your ankles, among other places. Not only can this interfere with Downward Dog, it also places you at greater risk for tears and ruptures, Haber says.

Staying active helps counteract these effects, he notes. (And only takes 10 minutes a day with Fit in 10.) If you've had an Achilles tendon injury in the past, strengthening exercises such as calf raises can prevent relapses. To loosen up tight ankles, you can also try this exercise.

MORE: 6 Simple Moves To Ease Sciatica

6. Ligaments lengthen.

Photograph by tagota/Getty Images

On the flip side, other connective tissues called ligaments can stretch out over time, leaving your arch aching and your foot flatter. What's more, the sensors that typically alert your brain that your ligaments are overstretching—think of them like backup sensors for your joints—start to go on the fritz. This throws you off balance and leaves you prone to a recurring cycle of ankle sprains.

Sprain your ankle once? Consult a podiatrist or other health care professional for advice on preventing the next one. Wearing a brace while working out or playing sports might help keep you stable, as can ankle-strengthening exercises like ankle circles and toe raises.

7. Skin dries out.
Besides cushioning the bottom of your feet, collagen also plumps up your skin. A shrinking supply leaves your tootsies parched and prone to dryness and cracking.

Fight back by making sure you're staying hydrated, and get in the habit of using a moisturizer like Ahava Mineral Foot Cream ($22, ahavaus.com)—and do it twice a day. "Most people don't realize the importance of the frequency; they don't understand why their dry skin is not improving when they apply skin cream every other day or even daily," Haber says.

http://www.prevention.com/health/what-aging-does-to-your-feet