My Photos in Februarys Herbal Roots

I'm simply delighted that my photographs of Willow will be featured in the upcoming edition of Herbal Roots Zine.

If you have not yet encountered this enchanting, all-ages, magic portal into the world of herbs and herbal healing, well get on it! You will NOT find this quality and quantity of grassroots herbal learning anywhere else for this price.

Kristine your work in the world is beautiful and invaluable. I'm lucky to share my Willow photos with you!

Its my birthday

I'm turning 33 today. In about an hour. And just like (knock on wood) every year on my day the weather is incredible. The mist is cool and smoky from the river, and the crows are in full flocking force as they move from station to station with their frenzied chatter. The hawks are screaming incessantly on the hill, and the woodpeckers have already made their breakfast rounds to my trees.
The smell of the air is like no other time of year. It is thick with nectar, pollen, fresh water vaporised by sunshine, and deeply breathing plants. I woke up to greet the day and took in large gulps of this air, as it is my healing ambrosia. I must take in enough to strengthen my spirit.

I'm going to sit here this morning in the summer air, and write and read for a while. That's my favorite way of all to start the day.
Then I might take a plant walk or hike to the Cedar Grove. I can't go in the river today because there is e-coli .... upsetting news.... but indeed happens at some point each year.

On my birthday I like to think about where I've been and where I'm going. Who I am and who I am becoming.
I've accomplished another year in homeschooling my children (which often means self) and for that I pat myself on the back. I love having the freedom to allow them a self directed and self aware life. My son turned 9 yesterday (a little birthday gift for me :) and he still has the most magical, funny, and brilliant sense about him.

I've graduated from my Green Witch Correspondence Course with Susun Weed. It took me just over two years, although many of the lessons I had already been passionately pursuing already, so I had a good head start. I have learned a LOT through this course and it has effected who I am profoundly. It has also given me good solid footsteps toward my more authentic self, leading me in a truer outward expression of that. I realised when I sent in my completion letter ... that the whole point of completion really is when you realize that it's never done ... that really it's the beginning as well, another rung of the great spiral. I feel like my medicine bag is getting fuller and more potent. Some of my tools are getting sharp, and some of my visions clearer. Many of the lessons in the course are ones I will be using over and over for my whole life.

I've changed my entire career. Some of you know that before this last year, I was in the throws of a career as a professional dancer; performing throughout the state, teaching, choreographing, and in general staying very busy both creatively and physically. As of June 21 - it was a year behind me. This was a pivotal choice for me, with many deep layers as reasons and motivations for changing ... which I need not bore you with here. The undercurrent of this change is that it granted me the time to watch, listen, and act. The watching pertains mostly to my children and to nature. I've been able to really watch the plants this year, through many more slow changing moments, leading me to some exquisite plant love experiences and wisdom. I've started a weather journal, and so I watch the sky and smell the air and listen to the birds, and record each day my notes.

I listen more carefully, hopefully to other people as well as my deeper self.


I have taken action on some of my more important visions; raising a Red Tent Temple (finishing it's 5th month yesterday!) honoring the wheel of the year with simple or community ritual and ceremony, journaling more, and putting good strong focused energy into the classes I teach for the Wilderness School. One of my most important actions to take was to do less. And so the list stops there.



Where am I headed? I ask my self this question a lot. Sometimes I get a little answer, but more often I get silence. I'm not exactly sure. Sometimes I wonder what I am in such a hurry to get to. I worry that someone might beat me to my own goals, or to my own destiny if that's possible.

I'm not even sure what I'm doing all this for or what to do with what I learn or even how to begin to organize it into something cohesive if I wanted to teach it.

One of my biggest struggles that I would like to gain peace around this year is my sense of home. My sense of belonging and of place. There are glimpses of my world that bring me this feeling of depth and connection that I crave, often they show up here as I write about the land around me and the plants. But I think the blog cleverly trims out the parts that don't belong for me .... many neighbors close by, oppressive cost of living, the land that turns from ecstatic in summer to desolate and dead for many more months out of the year; land that puts my whole being into torpor during that time.

I've never lived in a climate that was without a sure winter. I grew up in Iowa. Yet I struggle to deal with it year after year, as I watch my allies hide away underground, the comfort of the sun leave, the green of the landscape fall away, and the brute of the grey sky and whipping cold set in like the slap of the Narnia Queen. The sting of half my life away is something I cannot come to terms with .... leaving me with an unending sense of UN belonging. Of un place and un home.

I would like to find peace and resolution around this.



Another thing that might change for me this year is work. I may have to return to work, as the financial climate for a family of four is, to say the very least, hostile where I live. It's corporate America, folks, and unless your hubby makes a fortune in Manhattan, you'd better find some tampons and get your ass to work. For us normal folk, good isn't good enough. It's barely enough. So, we shall see where this fact leads me. I can't work full time because we have chosen a life as homeschoolers - and I am committed to maintaining that for my children.



What new things for me would I like to see in this next year? I'd like something to help me bring my learnings full circle - whatever that means. I often think about doing another training, perhaps the Priestess path with ALisa Starkweather, or the Medicine Woman's Path with Kiva Rose, or another path that would be both deeply spiritual as it was wisdom filled. I think I will just have to wait for the right moment to inform me.



I am especially looking forward to my birthday gift. I have requested a day later this month. ... and during this day for some of my close women friends to arrive at my home and teach me something. This makes my heart flutter every time I think about it. A whole summer day to myself, where the women of my 'tribe' stop in at their own chosen moment, to share a wisdom of theirs with me as I grow. This feels like a memory that I have uncovered. I can't wait to discover what they will decide to share .... songs? gardening tips? meditations? a hunting story? It just makes my spirit feel alive. This will be a very special day indeed, and I feel relieved and joyous about celebrating my birthday the way I feel it is meant to be. Modern day birthday structures just make me cringe.



The birds are simply glorious this morning, so full of melody as I watch the sun come out from behind the Hemlock boughs. Still laced in fluffy clouds, the sky is hazy and mild. The vacationers at the riverbank are quiet on Monday mornings for all their weekend parties. The St. Johnswort in it's yellow mini-suns beckons a second round of harvest. The Queen Anne's lace opens right up as if to wish me a personal happy birthday. The black raspberries are heavy on the vines and the wine berries and blackberries are gaining a sweet momentum of their own, readying for their moment in the sun. My children tinker inside the house as they rise from slumber, with their messy cute hair and mismatched jammies. My older one rises late .... for staying up with dad watching sports... or because I think after lights go out, hers goes back on in silent, late night pursuit of a good book.



Happy new year, to me.

My Diabetic Neuropathy A Personal Account

Today's post from kerrykobashi.com (see link below) talks about his discovery that his diabetes had led to neuropathy and how he felt about that realisation. It's always interesting to read about other people's personal experiences with neuropathy because it helps us put our own into perspective. Whatever the cause of your neuropathy, I'm sure you will recognise elements of this story.

I Got Diabetic Neuropathy.
Published on September 18th, 2014 | by Kerry Kobashi 
 
For the past 4 months I’ve noticed my body screaming out in pain during the night. When lying down in bed, I have been getting harsh, quick prick like pain in my thighs, legs, and toes. Sometimes, I get it in my hands and arms but on less occasion. They come randomly, and when they hit, it freaking hurts.

During the day, when I walk, my legs and thighs would get really weak, sore and tired. Looking at myself physically in the mirror, I look in good shape. But, there is a noticeable problem of atrophy in my thighs and legs. The muscle mass is missing.

Earlier today, I went to see a neurologist and described to him my symptoms. As we talked about my situation, he basically sat there in his chair typing into a computer everything I was saying. Strangely, he never came to any conclusion what I may have. I mean, I did tell him and write on the patient information sheet that I am diabetic.

Now mind you, I was waiting during the entire office visit for him to recommend a drug to help me with my immediate pain. Yes, you know I’m in pain! Instead, the doctor wants me to go through tests including MRI LS Spine scan, and an EMG/NCV on my legs. The MRI I am to get within the next two weeks and the electro tests on my next office visit which is in two weeks.

But Doc, I’m in freaking pain!

Now, I had seen on a television commercial about a month ago a prescription drug called Lyrica. It is used to treat muscle and nerve pain caused by diabetes. I asked him about it. He responded that he will prescribe GabaPentin instead.

Late tonight, I did a little Internet research. I’m pretty sure that I have diabetic neuropathy. This is basically my nerves being damaged from high blood sugar levels from diabetes. This got me thinking. The Mayo Clinic says there is no cure for diabetic neuropathy. The only ways to make the patient feel better is to reduce the blood glucose levels by eating right and getting regular exercise. That, and prescription drugs like GabaPentin.

So I basically see no point in an MRI scan or a very painful electromyogram test where they stick electrodes on my body, insert a 2 foot long needle into my leg, and turn on the electricity (cringe). I already know what I got and its diabetic related.

Let’s see if GabaPentin (Neurontin) gets rid of the pain. I figure its going to take a few weeks to get into my system. I’ll update this post as time passes to give you, the reader, an idea of what I’m going through. I will also from time to time, write about the idea of eating foods with a low glycemic index. Talk about the index, post diabetic food recipes, exercise ideas, and tools to assist diabetics like myself.

Diabetes sucks. Let’s get through it successfully together.

http://kerrykobashi.com/life/got-diabetic-neuropathy

LIKE MY BODY ODOR LIKE MY POLITICS

A new study reveals that people find the smell of others with similar political opinions to be attractive, suggesting that one of the reasons why so many spouses share similar political views is because they were initially and subconsciously attracted to each other's body odor.

During the study, 146 participants rated the attractiveness of the body odor of unknown strong liberals and strong conservatives, without ever seeing the individuals whose smells they were evaluating.

"People could not predict the political ideology of others by smell if you asked them, but they differentially found the smell of those who aligned with them more attractive. So I believe smell conveys important information about long-term affinity in political ideology that becomes incorporated into a key component of subconscious attraction," said Dr. Rose McDermott, lead author of the American Journal of Political Science study.

Is My Neuropathy Going To Get Worse Personal Account

Today's post from neuropathysupportnetwork.org (see link below) is written by the very well respected campaigner for better treatment for neuropathy, Lt. Col. Eugene B. Richardson. He talks about his own neuropathy but especially in this case, he tries to answer the question whether someone's neuropathy will get worse. It's almost unanswerable because everybody's case is different and neuropathy is one disease that hardly ever obeys the rules that most normal diseases do. This article is very much worth a read because I am sure it's a question that almost 100% of neuropathy sufferers have asked at one time or another.

Will My Neuropathy Get Worse?
Posted May 25th, 2011 by LtCol Eugene B Richardson, USA (Retired) BA, MDiv, EdM, MS 
 
One issue neuropathy patient’s face is the fear that their neuropathy will grow progressively worse. Neurologists call this a progressive polyneuropathy. The truth: no one really knows if your neuropathy will worsen, stay the same or disappear. A neurologist shared that this may have more to do with the underlying cause of the neuropathy than any other issue.

I speak of this very fear in chapter twelve, Focus, in the DVD “Coping with Chronic Neuropathy”, and if you have not viewed this chapter, I suggest that you do so. The viewing will provide a better perspective.

Neuropathy patient fears are often increased by the coming and going (remitting and relapsing) of neuropathy symptoms. Too many doctors still fail to understand this reality for the neuropathy patient, yet these patterns are a medically confirmed fact. Better recognized are the same patterns for some forms of MS (Multiple Sclerosis)!

Neurologists confirm that there are acute neuropathies that come on suddenly and then the symptoms disappear. In other neuropathies symptoms occur, disappear and then return at the same level. Other neuropathies occur, disappear and then return at increased levels and in more places of the body. Others come, go and then go away for years only to return with a vengeance! The chronic neuropathies and polyneuropathies which increase for years are often referred to as progressive polyneuropathies. The mystery is increased as there seems to be no rhyme or reason for these patterns. The only thing I noticed is that when I increased activity, I have increased burning, pain or other symptoms and I would guess that this was due to making damaged nerves work.

For years between the emotional highs when my symptoms remitted (“Hurrah, they’re gone!”) and the emotional lows when they relapsed (“Oh no, they’re back!”), I was tempted to worry that my symptoms were going to worsen and guess what, they did! But one has to ask the question, did the energy spent on worry change anything? No! What I re-discovered was what I learned in Sunday school. It was better to spend my time and energy finding a doctor who was trained in the clinical approaches to neuropathy then to waste energy on worry. I needed a doctor, not worry, to focus on my symptoms, a doctor working with me as a partner, while treating the symptoms and looking for the cause. I needed a medical Sherlock Holmes, not time worrying about what might happen.

This approach maintained a focus on self empowerment by learning all I could, while prodding the doctors with questions that helped them think and act. The most important question for you is not, will my neuropathy get worse, but what is the underlying cause? Spend your energy looking for the cause, as no one knows if your neuropathy will worsen or not.

I know that for so many of you neuropathy has been a progressive illness which worsened over the years. Conversely, my progressive polyneuropathy has not killed me, for my neuropathy symptoms began at age 31 and I am now 72. Thirty-one years into the symptoms with a million denials with a diagnosis beyond crazy to idiopathic neuropathy, I was given one drug which drove me to talk backwards and then another that reduced pain by 80%. Five years later with the miracle of IVIg I am able to keep breathing and the chest muscle spasms stopped while reducing other mind numbing symptoms. This took many doctors, lots of research and knowledge, while asking good questions and giving doctors documents from experts. It may have been fear and anger which drove me forward, but it was these focused actions that brought help, not dwelling on my fears!

It is important to know which issue is important as you set goals for getting help. It is important to focus your energy on learning, getting help with symptoms and finding the cause and solutions for the diagnosed illness. I do not mean idiopathic neuropathy (of unknown cause). It is very difficult to find a solution, other than for symptoms, when the neuropathy is of unknown cause. Many times it is a matter of the doctor taking the time, helping the doctor think and pushing the system to do the testing that is now available.

Tests that are available will with good thinking and clinical training allow the doctor to know if the neuropathy is large or small fiber, motor, sensory or autonomic, axonal, immune-mediated, demyelinating or inflammatory and these clues can lead to a possible identification of the cause that is more helpful than idiopathic. Unfortunately many neuropathy patients are simply tossed into the pile of idiopathic and sent home.

RESOURCE: Read Dr. Scott Berman’s book, as this book may provide insight and is available at the website www.neuropathysupportnetwork.org RESOURCE TAB. Dr. Berman has untreatable CIDP (chronic inflammatory demyelinating polyneuropathy) and his book speaks to all neuropathy patients as one who has been in our shoes with many neuropathies. Dr. Berman empowers us to face creatively the emotional issues we ALL face in chronic illness.

PATIENT TO PATIENT – Disclaimer: Patient to Patient articles are intended to be educational, not diagnostic or prescriptive and the patient is encouraged to seek help from their own private physician.

http://neuropathysupportnetwork.org/blog/2011/05/will-my-neuropathy-get-worse/

My favorite tree and another mystery

The Sycamore just sings to me. This one, especially.

What tree dare such earrings? A Box Elder I think.